Closet &Nick

'Ey I get it, I mean look at your classmates, Soof who probably spent more time on memes than she sleeps, Hannes the biggest asshole in school, I get it. Plus, I am different than you, but believe me, one day you have to get out of there,' he said.
  'But how?' she bursts out, her voice rising. 'How will I ever come out if no one will accept me? I am sick of those people and I just want to live a happy life!'

  She saw him frowning. 'We all want that,' he said, his voice soft. 'Look, they will accept you I promise.'
  Joli looked away again. 'How do you know? How can you be so sure of something that isn't predictable! I had to experience it once and I don't want to relive all of that,' she sighed.

  'Because I got accepted too duh,' he smiled.
  Joli looked at him again. She sighed irritated. 'That's not how it works for everyone, okay?' she exclaimed, despair clearly audible in her voice. 'That you got accepted doesn't mean I get accepted too! I don't get accepted!' she nearly yelled, the emphasis on the don't.
  The girl breathed in and looked away, trying to blink the tears away that were forming in her eyes. She couldn't cry in front of him, not again...

  'I am sure that you are going to be accepted eventually, but I am 100% sure that you aren't going to be accepted and happy if you don't get out of there,' he said.
  Joli sighed. She really didn't know what to do...
  'Alright... I am going to do something, and I am going to regret this, but I have too, if you promise me to tell nobody, not even Friedrich or Soof,' the teacher said softly as he stood up and closed the door. Joli's eyes filled with curiousity. She was tense but also very curious about what he would do. He said he's gonna regret it so it must be serieus, but she couldn't thought about anything.
  'Ehm, ofcourse but... What are you gonna do?'

  He opened his bag and pulled out a container full of white pills.
  Okay, what the fuck are you gonna do?
  He placed the pills in front of her. Joli looked distrustful from the pills to mister de Jong. 'Look, these are SSRIs... Listen to me, these can be dangerous, so I am giving you two each day, cause I don't want you to kill yourself, and I still want you to be able to live without them, but before I give you this, promise me, that you are going to get help, got to Fried-e-rich or something, cause pills aren't the solution, they are small breaks from pain,' he explained.
  Joli was quiet for a while, looking from the pills to the teacher and back.
  Was he serious?
  'You want me... To take these?' Joli asked hesitative. 'What will they do with me? What are they for?' She couldn't believe that a teacher on her school just give her drugs. If it were drugs. Probably, cause he was a drug addict, but...
  And about getting help... She wasn't very fond of that. She didn't like sharing her feelings, and certainly not with the teacher were she had an crush on. She felt her cheeks warm up a little of the thought of mister Fuchs but shoved him to the background quickley.
  Not something to think about now, Joli. Mister de Jong is fucking offering you pills!

  She saw that he was really serious. He really meant it...
  'I want you to take two for tomorrow. You need to take it really slow, they aren't addictive but still, just to be sure. Plus, pills aren't fun, believe me, I know.'
  Says the drug addict...
  'Listen, I want you to get help, and don't you fucking dare to not get help, cause I will check, so promise me, that you get help, and don't tell anyone, do now ahow it, especially not Hannes or Friedrich. Cause Hannes is a snitch and Friedrich is Friedrich. Do we have a deal?'
  Joli was silent for a while, progressing the words he just said. Slowly she nodded her head. 'And when do I take them in? Must there be a special time, or...? And why two? If you give it to me, why not give me some more? I promise I won't take to much.'
  She deviated the question about getting help again. She really didn't want to get help. She could figure it out herself.
  'And I promise, I won't tell anyone. We have a deal, I guess,' she laughed nervously. If the pills would help, why reject them?

  'You take them when you think you need it, and no, only two cause that is what I used to say too, and look at me now, it starts with medical pills and ends with xtc, cocaine and pot, so no.' the teacher argued.
  Joli sighed and nodded. 'Fair enough...'
  She walked to the desk and took the pills. She looked at the teacher and smiled slightly.
  'Thanks, tough,' she said while walking towards the door. She stopped for a moment, waiting for mister de Jong to say something, if he wanted to say something...